Rebuild the missing context
Assume the recipient will not remember every date, promise, or earlier conversation. For a message about how to ask a friend to attend a funeral with you, use this factual base: explain the specific need, timing, duration, and what alternatives you have already considered.
Say what needs to happen next
State the decision, information, or practical action you need and include a real deadline only when one exists. Ask one person for one manageable form of help and make cost, transport, or follow-up expectations explicit. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Avoid making urgency into pressure
Do not disguise an emergency, guilt the recipient, or interpret a no as proof they do not care. Use professional, medical, crisis, housing, or emergency services when the need exceeds what personal help can safely provide. Do not make the other person responsible for reducing the discomfort that prompted you to write.