Friendship & reconnection

Reconnect with a former coworker

A past colleague may become a friend, collaborator, reference, or simply a valued connection. The first message should recognize them as a person, not as access to a company.

Write your messageHow it works

Restore the work context

Name the team, project, period, or challenge you shared and add a genuine reason they came to mind. A short specific message is easier to trust than broad networking flattery.

Be transparent if there is a request

If you want advice, a referral, information, or an introduction, say so and include what it requires. Do not disguise a favor request as a social catch-up.

Respect professional boundaries

Use contact information they made available for professional communication. Do not ask for confidential company data or pressure them to recommend work they cannot endorse.

Common questions

People also ask

What should I message a former coworker?
Mention where you worked together, share why you thought of them, ask about their current work, and state any request plainly and briefly.
Can I ask for a referral in the first message?
Yes, when a deadline matters, but be direct and give them an easy no. Include the role and why your background may fit.
What if we were not close?
Keep the tone proportional to the relationship. A respectful professional check-in does not need to claim a friendship that did not exist.

What Kildr supports now

The full request stays simple. The controls around it are deliberate.

Opening is free

Recipients never pay to open or read a Kildr message. Before opening, they see who is asking when the sender chose to identify themselves and the total amount paid. A sender phone number is shown only when the sender explicitly chooses to share it.

The recipient stays in control

A recipient can decline without opening, block one sender, opt out of Kildr entirely, or report an opened message. A normal sender block can be removed by the recipient later. Declining means that message can never be viewed afterward.

Three optional responses

After opening, the recipient can choose “I need to think”, “Text me”, or “Never contact me again”. The first two can be switched after a 10-minute cooldown. “Never contact me again” is final, and the recipient can permanently block that sender or all Kildr requests.

Themes and read receipts are optional

Senders can choose free themes or buy a premium theme. An active paid theme is added to the visible Amount paid total. A separate read-receipt add-on unlocks Opened and Read status; without it, the sender's lifecycle information stops at Delivered.

Paying creates the request and optional sender features. It never creates an obligation for the recipient to open, respond, unblock, or make contact.

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Reconnect with a former manager

A former manager already knows how you work, but the relationship should not be treated as a dormant favor account. Reconnect as a person before presenting an obligation.

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Reconnect with a mentor you lost touch with

A mentor who shaped your life often slips out of contact as the years pass. Reaching back to thank them or reconnect is almost always welcome, and here is how.

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Ask a former employer for a reference

A useful reference request helps the person decide whether they can advocate for you and gives them the facts to do it well. Never list someone before they agree.

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Work & professional

Reach a coworker after conflict

A conflict with a colleague can poison the daily working relationship. If you want to clear the air, one honest message outside the pressure of the office can help.

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Prefer to read around it first? Read the journal or see how Kildr works.