Recognize what makes this moment difficult
Acknowledge the event directly without turning it into a lesson, comparison, prediction, or silver lining. For a message about how to support an adult recently diagnosed with ADHD, use this factual base: use the person's description, note the access barrier or practical need, and avoid guessing about severity.
Offer support that can be accepted
Offer one specific form of practical or emotional support and make clear that no immediate reply is needed. Ask which accommodation or form of help is useful and follow through without making it a favor. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Follow their pace rather than yours
Do not demand medical proof in a personal relationship, offer cures, or frame disability as inspiration. Use qualified clinical or emergency care for urgent health concerns and the proper rights process for denied accommodations. The recipient decides whether they want conversation, ordinary company, practical help, professional support, or quiet.