Rebuild the missing context
Assume the recipient will not remember every date, promise, or earlier conversation. For a message about how to support someone after their caregiver dies, use this factual base: use the person's name and relationship when known, and avoid details the family has not shared publicly.
Say what needs to happen next
State the decision, information, or practical action you need and include a real deadline only when one exists. Offer one concrete form of help and remove any expectation of an immediate response. Make the immediate next step clear enough that the recipient can answer without reconstructing the entire history.
Avoid making urgency into pressure
Do not say everything happens for a reason, demand strength, or center your own similar loss. For immediate risk, traumatic circumstances, or a person unable to stay safe, use local crisis or emergency support. Do not make the other person responsible for reducing the discomfort that prompted you to write.